inflatable_twerp

User type Normal User since 7/28/2010

Hey guys,
As you may well know, I haven't played Figment for a very long time, and that's because my laptop won't connect to the internet due to a virus or something equally as malicious, and I don't get much time on the home PC due to my hectic home life with this family I belong to and the managarie of household pets we have acquired over the years.

You may remember that The Chosen Rejects were going to go on tour, but plans fell through and the internet connection collapsed, so things never materialised. Sorry 'bout all that.

I'll be back soon as I can, but things are weird around here right now. I've got a job, I'm waaaay behind on my writing and I'm not smoking weed anymore, so it's all a bit of an uphill struggle in an offensively sober world, but I'll get back and release some more records as soon as the dust settles.

I can't let The Chosen Rejects go to waste, can I? Those dudes rock.

But yeah, sorry I ain't been around.

See ya soon
- Jack

Recent activity

80 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

85 days ago: The Chosen Rejects are in the studio

85 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

88 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

124 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

130 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

275 days ago: The Chosen Rejects announce news

277 days ago: inflatable_twerp shouted at Calavera Electrica

284 days ago: inflatable_twerp is a fan of Up the Creek

284 days ago: inflatable_twerp listened to Off The Deep End by x69

Recent Albums / EPs

Don't Quit The Day Job

Date Released: 7/28/2010 Tracks: 5 Sales: 22 Listens: 35

"Hey, Toad here (the singer/guitarist/glory hog), In your lucky hands is our first EP. Now, you better hold on to it, cause it's gonna be worth quite alot of cash when we make it big & our bassist kills himself. Recorded under inebrieation & a bloody great ceiling fan. Enjoy."

Failing With Flying Colours

Date Released: 7/28/2010 Tracks: 2 Sales: 10 Listens: 13

"I found this in my itunes a couple weeks back. Nothing too big, just a demo from when me & Jerry started playing together in school, back when we sounded a little like Nirvana doing Green Day up the you-know-where with a distortion pedal. The first is by him, second's by me. There is a severe lack of drums on both tracks. Enjoy." - Toad

Cupcake Flashbacks

Date Released: 7/30/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 9 Listens: 8

For those days where the waves just seem lazy And those cakes you baked make the world all too hazy Mad shout out to Callow High & all the surf-punks that came to see us explode on stage. You guys rock. WE DO BIRTHDAYS TOO! Davie, x

Frat Boys Of The Outer-Rim

Date Released: 8/1/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 5 Listens: 4

Aight, Davie here, kinda a crazy story behind this next EP. Our bassist, Frank, got invited to a house party after we got back from tour, so he decided to go along, have a couple possibly illegal beers & have a good time. While he was there, a kid came up to him and gave him a beer which, unbeknownst to him, had been laced with LSD. He came back to us with a mind cracked wide open and a small pad filled with lyrics. This is what came of it. Davie, x

Sleepless In Chicago

Date Released: 8/30/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 8 Listens: 10

Hey, Jerry here. Yeah the title's lame, I haven't had much sleep, not sleeping much on tour, very partied out. I've been recording bits and bobs throughout the tour, on a tape recorder type thing I have on my mobile, neat right? Hopefully Garth won't mind if I upload them here on the odd occasion. We love you Garth =D ...Shiiit, Toad's a bit wrecked. He's trying to get the TV out of its fixings in the wall so he can throw it out the window (which doesn't open). Ciao Ciao for now.

Live From Toads Kitchen (A Very Official Bootleg)

Date Released: 9/14/2010 Tracks: 12 Sales: 9 Listens: 18

Exactly what it says on the tin. Everything we managed to play before the pigs came and crashed the party, courtesy of resident camera-man & number one fan, Garth Horner. We love you, Garth =D Admittedly, it's not the best quality, but there's more than enough alcohol-induced heckling to keep you coming back for more. Also includes a cover or three, including a special introduction from Toad himself. A million kisses to your scalp, Jerry. Ciao ciao for now.

Inside-Jokes

Date Released: 9/14/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 7 Listens: 8

There's this joke we've been telling around here for a while, and it's so freaking inside, we couldn't tell you it even if we tried. Yes, we're releasing another six song ep. Why? Well maybe we've grown comfortable with the formula, or maybe we're just that underground. Yeah man. Eat it up, digest it, sip some water to settle your stomach and love it. Davie, x

Bad Wave Daze

Date Released: 9/29/2010 Tracks: 14 Sales: 8 Listens: 9

"Hey, welcome to Pizza Hut. You guys all ready to order?" "Um...Yeahh...I'll have a burrito..." "A burrito?" "Yes, I..er..I believe that's what I said..." "But sir, this is a Pizza Hut..." "Oh yeah, I know I know, and I wanted a burrito" CUE THE MUSIC! (all songs written, played & rocked out on by The Traumatic Childhood Experience)

Lucid Lucinda (she dreams all day)

Date Released: 10/5/2010 Tracks: 3 Sales: 12 Listens: 28

Lucid Lucinda has been a band favourite for quite some time here at Camp Rejected. It's a song that's been written here, there & everywhere. Displaying perhaps every bit of The Esoterical Shred's influence for his short time with the band, that crazy old geezer. Psychey, dreamy, vague and all in her head, Lucid Lucinda dreams another adventure for her and her imaginary friends... The first single off of our upcoming album, Patchwork, we hope you enjoy this small taste of things to come - Toad

We Three Deadbeats

Date Released: 10/15/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 5 Listens: 5

We'd like to dedicate this one to the beloved couches, loveseats, armchairs & sofas the world over, and to TV & The Internet, for being much more fun than working for a living. (Coasting through life like a tree sloth) Davie, x

Patchwork

Date Released: 10/16/2010 Tracks: 15 Sales: 11 Listens: 20

This fine piece of plastic is our over-produced major-label corporate-bitch album. It's the last several EP's and a helluva lot more. We hope you enjoy the album, because you can be damn sure we had fun making it. Lots of lovages to the fans, for being so awesome. - Toad, Jerry & Ren Angst-Ridden Adolescent Aggression + Dangerously Low Self-Esteem + A Mostly Indifferent Sense Of Apathy + Too Much Beer = "Patchwork" Get it now! All songs written by The Chosen Rejects.

The Emergency Acid

Date Released: 10/29/2010 Tracks: 9 Sales: 8 Listens: 9

Just in case... A lot of these are old songs I've only just got the chance to record. Some of them even date back to my blissfully confused youth, others are more recent tales about woes, jubilations & one horrific acid trip in Camden. Peace-out, you spacey new age fruitcakes. Hugs.

Love

Date Released: 10/29/2010 Tracks: 20 Sales: 15 Listens: 36

Always the romantic notion, isn't it? Two runaway lovers hitting the road in a beat-up VW, fuelled into a self-destructive frenzy by liquor and hard drugs, blasting their new-fangled "rock" music all day, every day. Adam & Eve thought so. It sounded just like all their favourite films. Our intrepid psychonauts are on a collision course with themselves. And so we join them, speeding along Route 66, not a clue between them where the reality stops and their twisted imagination begins...

Ghouls & Fools Halloween Bash DVD

Date Released: 11/15/2010 Tracks: 20 Sales: 6 Listens: 7

October 31st, Camden Town, the "Cherry Bombs & Sour Acorns" tour hit home with the most explosive gig yet. A free-for-all Halloween ball to blow the balls off everyone in attendance. Cherry Vendetta tore through the crowd with a stunning seven song setlist, leaving Toad & Gang to mop up the mess with a very special set of songs new and old. Filmed & recorded profesionally, this is one gig you do not wanna miss out on on. Scoop it up now! Special thanks to Cherry Vendetta & Garth. Loveages

Virgin Meteor

Date Released: 11/16/2010 Tracks: 3 Sales: 8 Listens: 10

Our second single from debut album Patchwork, Virgin Meteor was written by Jerry a couple years back when he went to study music at college, at it's remained a staple in The Chosen Rejects setlist ever since then. Crunching bass-line and a jarring punk rock riffage on top, it's enough to make your ears bleed in the best possible way. B-sides incuded feature two lesser played songs from the bands studio time on the debut. Enjoy, Rejects. - Garth.

Belly-Flop, Bitch

Date Released: 11/17/2010 Tracks: 5 Sales: 8 Listens: 10

Garth speaking. Here's one from The Archives to keep you Rejects at bay while the guys are recovering from tour. Formed whilst Toad & Jerry were only two fifteen year old misfits in a dog-eat-dog secondary school, "Belly-Flop, Bitch" was the embryonic beginnings of what would later grow into "The Chosen Rejects". Recorded in Toads practice room with a drum machine called "Girt", it's more of a collectors item than an album. Download it and give it a whirl, for old times sake.

We All Hate Davie Peterson

Date Released: 11/27/2010 Tracks: 13 Sales: 9 Listens: 13

A.K.A: Davie Goes To College. We still haven't heard from him, so we're releasing the rough album as is. Basically, it's all of our practice sessions cleaned up and listenable, because, well, our singer ran away to chase an "education", but fuck him. It's been a blast, but sadly this is our final album, and there will be no tour. We'll miss our fans and we'll miss this band, but sometimes life just takes you elsewhere. We hope you like it. Signed, Frank & Robin Much love

A Very Politically Correct Happy Holidays

Date Released: 12/25/2010 Tracks: 6 Sales: 7 Listens: 8

Ho ho ho & a bottle of port! It's Christmas time once more, and we here at Reject Central would like to wish you all the merriest of crimbos and the happiest of all new years! We went straight into the studio after opening our presents to record these very special tracks for you under the influence of one too many merry little drimks! Happy Holidays to all! *hic* - The Chosen Rejects, much love!

We're All Crazy Here

Date Released: 2/10/2011 Tracks: 17 Sales: 16 Listens: 27

During the recording of this album: Ren survived explosive diarrhea at the cost of five pairs of "good shorts". Jerry was possessed by harmful spirits and tried to shoot Garth with an ornamental shotgun (that wasn't loaded, thankfully). Toad went missing for roughly a week in the Texas heat of the desert after downing enough bad acid to kill an elephant, and came back unharmed. & Perry-Anne fell through the stairs. Three times. In one night. Welcome home We're All Crazy Here.

Pretty In Paisley EP

Date Released: 2/12/2011 Tracks: 4 Sales: 10 Listens: 8

Hey guys, Jerry here. We're all still a little fried up and smouldering from our little "vacation", mostly trying to remember where the hell we've been for the past three months. I found these demo tapes on my mobile earlier this week, but I haven't got a freaking clue where they came from, or even who's playing guitar on the third track, but whatever. I'm uploading these tracks as a free bonus purchase incentive download for anyone who wants them. Hope you enjoy, ciao ciao for now.

Refund

Date Released: 2/12/2011 Tracks: 10 Sales: 12 Listens: 20

Hey God I been doing some thinking & I've just been wondering If you could just delete me Give this body to somebody who doesn't smoke, drink or fuck Give this brain to somebody sober Refund my parents for all the wasted time And grant me the oblivion I'm trying all too hard to acheive

Floating Freak Fortress

Date Released: 3/4/2011 Tracks: 13 Sales: 6 Listens: 7

Sometimes when The Circus comes trundling into town, all the girls and boys and other ne'er do wells come out in their droves to spectate the spectacle. It's a travelling utopia that could be turning up in a random field near you, very very soon. Get your ticket stamped and your wristbands at the ready, pick the poison to suit your tastes and dance like no-one cares. This is the tale of three days in the belly of a Floating Freak Fortress.

Scrapings From The Drain

Date Released: 3/13/2011 Tracks: 13 Sales: 8 Listens: 8

Hey, Garth here. In case you haven't already gathered, when the Reject machine is in full swing, alot of material ends up getting left on the cutting room floor when it comes to recording the final album. Scrapings From The Drain is a collection of tracks that didn't quite make the cut this time round, and that probably won't find their way on to any singles anytime soon. It's a graveyard for the half-assed ideas that never quite bloomed into something album-worthy. Enjoy.

Hey Kid, Don't Look Up

Date Released: 7/30/2011 Tracks: 5 Sales: 10 Listens: 15

BOOM & that's when it all hits you As if some titanic pink ballet-dancing elephant is making violent love to a super-sonic rainbow whilst singing the ten commandments in a tenor wail that makes your eardrums want to pack their bags and move to some trendy upscale soundproofed apartment somewhere downtown. Who knew that the entire universe as we know it could exist on the tip of a shoelace? Since when did Planet Earth know me well enough to address me on first name terms? And for that matter, why is she telling me to lick her face? A snail crawls on past and winks at you, he turns and he says; "If you're struggling to cope with the intense infinite beauty of just this one square foot of dirt, perhaps you should keep your head down for now." He was basically trying to say "Hey kid, don't look up, you'll regret it" I didn't listen to what he said, next thing I know I'm stirring from my acid coma clung to a cactus and gibbering in tongues. I'm also half naked, which is a real bummer, because I liked that shirt. I saw something a human mind simply isn't built to process. So take heed, When a snail tells you not to look up You better do what he says. - Toad

Wanna-B-Sides

Date Released: 8/5/2011 Tracks: 10 Sales: 10 Listens: 15

About half of these tracks got put together during one of our many, many, so painfully many practice jam/demo recording sessions from the "We're All Crazy Here" sessions in Berkely Manor, but they were messy and half-baked compared to the rest of our demo material, not really worthy of a place on the "Scrapings From The Drain" collection or any of the singles. If you heard the original demos, you'd think there was something seriously wrong with all of us. We were completely out to sea by that stage, and none of us could remember how to swim. The other half are a couple tracks we've composed since then, in between festivals, in my garage of all places (yeah man, we may be bigtime hotshot rockstars, but we're still down with the underground). It's well cushty in there. I even put an armchair behind my drumkit. From front to back, this is the product of one recording session in said garage. Things get a little loose and fuzzy toward the end, but that's what happens when you someone lets the band down shots of tequila in between takes. By the time we got to the end of recording, Jerry had vomited two times and Toad was getting pretty handsy (WITH EVERYBODY D:) so we wrapped it up with a jam. Like a good piece of toast. Tracks one, two, six & seven came from Texas. Tracks three, four, five, eight & nine came from elsewhere. Track ten came out of a bottle of tequila. Hope it deafens ya. - Ren